Flawed Impression

2012-01-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

2012-01-08T09:20:00.001-08:00

2012-01-08T09:20:00.000-08:00

2011-12-28T22:51:00.000-08:00

2011-12-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

2011-12-10T07:51:00.001-08:00

ojt

2011-08-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

2011-04-13T02:20:00.000-07:00

alecs id

2011-03-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

i.J. with love

2011-03-20T20:21:00.001-07:00

Bedroom

2011-03-09T19:03:00.000-08:00

leen shirt design

2011-02-28T18:35:00.000-08:00

sample

2011-01-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

Doc,

Do forgive me for the delay, but here it is... As you have requested..

1. Blue and white

2. caduceus as a watermark

add ons:

1. frame with reflection

2. page number and batch

if there are changes that you want to do.. i know there are lots.. hihih but please.. do contact me. hihih i labyooo!!!!!!

for him

2010-12-26T03:57:00.001-08:00

http://img.ffffound.com/static-data/assets/6/bbadc0c46048c5df5d0a5692b0f4e5227a192333_m.png

it322

2010-12-18T18:43:00.000-08:00

portrait

2010-12-13T07:26:00.000-08:00

the modern woman warrior

2010-12-13T07:04:00.000-08:00

EAGLESHIP

2010-12-09T06:38:00.000-08:00

illustrations

2010-12-09T01:28:00.000-08:00

Made by my hands

2010-12-06T05:20:00.000-08:00

icas tee shirt design

2010-08-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

my very first sketch

2010-07-08T07:33:00.000-07:00

ALECS 2010 tshirt

2010-07-07T05:42:00.001-07:00

Jeeh

2010-07-05T07:39:00.001-07:00

photo booth for aao.

2010-07-03T23:22:00.001-07:00

ARO-bookmark

2010-07-02T19:41:00.000-07:00

happy birthday ate!

2010-06-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

Artificial Intelligence

2010-06-25T06:05:00.000-07:00

I was reading about A.I. for our class discussion when a realization hit me. A.i. is suppose to be a machine that will help people, machines having their own capability of thinking..

The thing is, I begin to wonder.. what will this do to us again? As we see the effects of previous invention.. we are now suffering from it(though not all). full of regrets and dispute.yet we also feel enslave by it since we cannot stop using it... for an example is the plastic bag.. they should have thought first of the components of the material since its not really earth friendly -- non biodegradable--- .... and now.. no matter how hard they try to change plastic bags to paper bags.. it cannot be done since people find plastic bags more disposable and useful compared to paper bags which can be destroyed by liquid alone. imagine using that and all your items from the grocery store are ice cold drinks... the paper bag would have proven itself useless.. the thing about humans is that.. once they set their goal..they do not look beyond the effects of their to other lives. so long as they are able to see their goal.. they devote their life into achieving it.. which is not at all bad.. but all am trying to say here is that.. we should be more careful of our goals. think not only of ourselves but also of others.

(draft... not yet furnished )

Ateneo Lectors Society

2010-06-20T17:54:00.000-07:00

A project for Ateneo Lectors Society. Drawing done by Jan Meryl.

The Sun and The Fellow

2010-06-20T00:43:00.000-07:00

June issue of my brain. June to me is where summer ends. This ending paved a new way for rainy season. When there is water, there is life. Life symbolized by the twigs and twirls. a little fellow is taking shelter under the leaf, on top of J. This fellow is looking at the sun (portrayed by the Goddess pushing J).. the little fellow is wondering why is this sun trying so hard to stop the rain.. the fellow knows that its impossible to alter the course of weather and so he thinks the sun is crazy. The sun replies.. its natural for me to defend myself in times where existence is being threatened..

SPATTY

2010-05-14T06:16:00.000-07:00

monster number two. urgh. should have thought better of the horns(curves) the markings(lines) and the eyes(circles). it just does not compute. monster number two: FAILURE.

Mr. EYE

2010-05-13T07:06:00.000-07:00

monster number 1: lacks texture.err but not the less... i declare this: plausible.

innere medizin

2010-04-27T22:34:00.000-07:00

The first design is what I had in mind, its simple.

Among the typography, please pick one, then I will add it in the back portion plus something else. If you want some modifications, do tell.

The Sunset Lover

2010-04-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

Doc, since you cannot go here. I took the pleasure of taking this for you. i hope you love it. Imagine yourself looking at this as the winds blows.. your feet rested on an elevated stool and the aroma of coffee taking over your nose as you inhale it... :j

T-shirt design for Chong Hua Hospital, Internal Medicine

2010-04-23T22:09:00.000-07:00

Doc, this is what I have come up with so far. The back portion is on its way. I hope you like it. I was trying to incorporate the idea of Chong Hua Hospital to the totality of it. Am having trouble combining cute and serious at the same time. And so I came up with a typography with something cute in it. If there are changes that you'd like me to do, puhlease do not hesitate to put it in the comment box here. Am open for suggestions. The color is white, since you are still undecided on the color of the shirt. Color can be easily changed. :) if anything more, you know how to contact me. iloveyousomats! i miss you so mats!!! uwi na!!!

The Flight

2010-04-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

*image taken by thenashman.blogspot.com

showreel psds for finals

2010-03-29T04:28:00.000-07:00

The War Within

2010-03-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

The War Within

Our decisions make us. We become who we are because of the decisions we make. They are mirrors of our persona. In truth, they become determinants of our destinies and futures.

We cannot escape them. We cannot do without them. Many times, we try to avoid them for more often than not, they exact a toll of pain and discomfort we could very well do without. But doing so, as we have by now learned, brings about consequences that make things worse. A decision not made is often regretted. A decision delayed becomes more painful in the making.

It is here that we realize the inevitability of decisions in life – along with the internal conflict that each decision brings. It is also here that we come to know fighting with one’s self in arriving at a decision helps us discover who we really are, helps us understand better the persons we are.

When faced with that “fork in the road” when a choice must be made, our minds and hearts go to work – which path is better, the one well taken, perhaps easier, or the one less taken, more uncertain and perhaps riskier. The quality of “better” as far as decisions are concerned is really subjective. What one perceives as “better” defines his uniqueness, his difference from others.

This inner struggle and the long road to a decision that must be made is what the hurting, wistful, and self-searching man in the poem Tonight I can write the saddest lines by Pablo Neruda faces.

And what a decision it is. For it involves the most salient of all human emotions – love, or in this case, the loss of it. He honors his lost love by grieving over it. But his grief threatens to shackle him to the past, to keep him chained to the martyrdom of a tragic lover forever pining for something that is lost and gone. The choices are there: to let go and move on, or to stay in that dark corner of loneliness, choosing “loyalty” to the haunting images and memories of what once was.

For one removed from the emotional entanglement of any decision, it is easy to make the rational choice. But for one caught in it, the experience of deciding is torment and agony itself.

What makes a decision so difficult? The dilemmas may all boil down to these: the perception that available solutions are almost of equal value or desirability, the tension of opposites personified by the never-ending tug of war between the mind and the heart, or a collision of interests, that of the person and that of affected others.

There was a point in my life where I too was faced with such decision. It is not just about thinking ahead and then go with which ever path favors you. It is never as easy, because what is easier may not really be the course your heart would be willing to take. The choices were either I would move on and have a better life or lament on a dying relationship. The clear choice was moving on, contrary to what people encouraged me to do, I stood still and watch myself be devoured by destruction. I felt satisfaction in the pain that I was in, for I know to myself that I was not ready.

“I loved her and sometimes she loved me too.” (6) The man was not such a fool. He did know that there was imbalance in the relationship, that he deserved more than what he was getting – being loved when the woman perhaps only felt like it. Yet, he gave back love that was consistent and unconditional. Did he love himself less by loving her more? Was he torn between the classic decision horns of want versus need? He needed to love himself more but wanted to have her, despite the punishing relationship she brought along. How many decisions have been rendered full of anguish by the pulls of want and need? The failure to distinguish one from the other has left many caught in a constant state of craving and disappointment. Was his ego at play here, to prop up his identity and manhood at the expense of self-respect? Only he can accurately describe or perhaps justify his willingness to accept the way things were. And perhaps tell us now whether he is able to see the line between want and need.

Reason versus emotion, the heart versus the head, the eternal human battle fought day in and day out – the stuff of life itself. The man who says he can write the saddest lines is not spared this at all. Rather, he is thrust into the very core of this controversy.

“My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her” (30) – almost a classic human cry of lost love through the ages. It still resounds today. The man knows that it is over. Reason tells him that while he is allowed to lick his wounds, he should move on and let time start the healing process of forgetting. But while reason prods him, his emotions hold him fast. He clings on, to memories and old longings. Emotions anchor him down and he knows this, stating his continuing love for the vanished one. The very fact that sadness rules him, that he can write the saddest lines, betrays his choice.

Dale Carnegie, that renowned author, would have told him – Know the facts, make a decision, act on it. Dale would have told him that while he indulged his heart, it was time for the head to come in and restore the balance of things. Knowing the facts implies a function of the head for the heart can easily overrule facts. But even Dale would have known that when it comes to decisions involving love, his three-stage saying would be up against formidable opposition. For love dwells in the territory of the heart itself and the head is but an intruder. Which is why the cliché “go with your heart” usually wins out in the end. It is also usually the more popular choice for everyone sympathizes with the one who goes where the heart leads, and usually castigates the one who uses the head as a cold, heartless fish unworthy of love at all.

But it is not in love alone where the struggle between the heart and the mind takes place. Rather, it occurs practically everywhere in life. In the end, the defining factor is which one the person chooses. For one seeking to know himself or herself more, finding out which is valued and followed more – the head or the heart – reveals volumes.

A collision of interests also muddles up the decision process for many. Personal interest versus the common welfare, in other words. “I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her” (27). A study in contradiction, how can the words “certain” and “maybe” coexist in a common context? When they manifest themselves in this manner, they show an agony of confusion. For our lover in the poem, his choice of the heart is becoming clearer with each line. It is in his interest to dwell on his pain, to extend the mourning over his loss, even deify or exalt his lost love. Common interest on the other hand tells him that he should move on. Moving on will improve strained relationships with others uneasy and unsure of how to relate to a man mooning over lost love. And moving on becomes a practical choice not only because it will redound to the good of others but because in the end, it does him good too.

Many decisions are made because the impact and effect on others important to the person are considered. The issue of the man and his relationship with others is unclear in the poem since his struggle takes place in the setting of solitude. But transposing him to practical and normal life would necessarily bring others out of the shadows and tells us that a person can know more of himself or herself from interaction with others who provide him mirrors to his true self.

Whatever choices are made, whatever decisions are adopted, whether the heart or the head wins, in the end, there is always some degree of clarity that emerges, clarity in the matter of a person’s values and clarity in some facet of the personality.

And it is also clear that a person has to throw himself into the struggle of decisions to find out the answers to questions important to him. It is by doubting one’s self, seeing and accepting one’s limitations, and knowing what can and cannot be changed that one grows and understands himself better.

This is something the man in the poem has yet to discover. His romanticism rules him for the moment and perhaps when the veils of emotion lift, he may come to see with greater clarity all that has been clouded by the heavy mists of memories and unrewarded longings.

2010-03-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

Blindness

2010-02-20T04:07:00.000-08:00

attribute of today's realization

Of the many steps I have taken, I have pondered much on the imprint it has left behind. Little did I know that when you walk, you need to see where you are going.

Today I have challenged myself to question my goal. I have been blind, though I have realized that I was, still I didn't do anything about it. Long have I been looking back at my prints and to where am I standing now, but never where the next step should be. Needless to say, I have been awakened. It is not the past that you should think of, but rather focus more on how you should shape your own future. But that's just it!? How then shall I shape something if I do not even know what I want it to be?! Tired I am for ever thinking and asking what do I really want? Am so much fed up that I am convinced to live life a new after this realization! But how then shall I begin?!?

That's what I hate about mysteries, you solve one, just to find out that there are more to come. Years now, I hope to have answers to this questions. Realizations are great, but having realized something you are expected to do something with it. And where to begin is the least of your problems. But nonetheless, I am grateful.

ANSWER

2010-02-18T00:52:00.000-08:00

for him, whom ever I loved most.

Intense is the fear you brought,

One sight, one memory am lost.

Fight with in self I have long fought.

Left I be in pain is the cost.

Healing and time immortalized.

Great is the agony I felt

Loneliness always emphasized

Smile I will and shall never welt.

I long for thee to be in place,

Ever waiting, ever loyal.

But hopeless I am of that face,

For such thought only is epical.

But the day came and you were there

Impossible as it might be

I questioned why I fear not thee

Answer: Love have long been set free.

post balemtimes

2010-02-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

hope [hōp]

transitive and intransitive verb (past and past participle hoped, present participle hop·ing, 3rd person present singular hopes)

want or expect something: to have a wish to get or do something or for something to happen or be true, especially something that seems possible or likely

noun (plural hopes)

1.	confident desire: a feeling that something desirable is likely to happen The research offers hope to sufferers.
2.	likelihood of success: a chance that something desirable will happen or be possible There's not much hope that things will improve.
3.	wish or desire: something that somebody wants to have or do or wants to happen or be true My hope is that she will change her mind.
4.	source of success: somebody or something that seems likely to bring success or relief We have to do this, it's our only hope.
5.	trust: a feeling of trust (archaic) to day its all about trust and hope. i love this day. despite the wrong interpretation, despite the KABOOM of anger, and despite very tragedy, I stand triumphant and ever trusting, ever hoping. :) Thank you.

02.05.10

2010-02-05T02:50:00.000-08:00

The fifth of February with Carlo Bagaporo and Sinn Ling Chen.

As my senses awaken, my eyes saw the long stick in the clock that points to 12 and the small stick points to nine. And not a minute to lose, i jumped out of my bed, brought my towel and other stuff to the bathroom. Just like that, I begun my day with such a day to day experience.

I had lunch with Jeeh and Leen. To my surprise Jeeh said that he will treat us out. Its not the first time, but still there's two of us(Leen and me). Well, he insisted(kahit wala). SO we ate at CHINITOS!

For today's menu we start of with some breaded pork chop special.

Some asparagus and carrots on the side.

Coleslaw which composes of cabbage, carrots, mayonnaise and carrots.

Breaded pork chopped with cheese and alfredo sauce(the so called white sauce)

Chinito's Bliss and Julia Happy

after a few minutes of continuous eating...

Whats left is the veggie of course since am so the opposite of a vegetarian.

And a letter L bone with a dot in the end. L.

Too bad I wasn't able to taste this due to my tummy being bloated with bliss!

After lunch, by 3pm Leen and I went out out eat again. But this time,

we ransacked Mang Inasal. But am still a bit full at that time.

So, I ordered this.

Mang Inasal's Special.

tick tack tick tack....

Like magic!

Special to nothingness;

Bit hungry to Overly Stuffed

The best part, it didn't cost me anything. THANK YOU LEEN AND JEEH! mwah hugs!

The Raven by Poe -Literature

2010-01-31T04:41:00.000-08:00

* yes yes, I know. The feathers below doesn't make much sense. But the purpose of that, is to let the user or watcher know what page they are in. --home-history-summary-question-- So technically, its not that useless. Its just that the text was placed in flash, so it cannot be viewed.

for a friend

2010-01-28T01:05:00.000-08:00

January 28, 2010

I awake to the beautiful sound of chirping birds and raging sunlight. Blessed I am for having been so. I begun to think otherwise of this when a friend of mine said that, do I not take pleasure in hearing the birds? And so it hit me.

Our daily life consist of actions, some are repetition of yesterday. And since we do it all the time, we forget how significant it is in our life. We take for granted what we have and we take value to what is new. Perhaps it is the norm to get accustomed and soon find it usual. And sadly, this just not happens to the things we do, but more importantly the people we are with. We realize the importance of someone if he is nowhere to be found. I could not stress the importance of this message. I guess the best thing to do is to appreciate everything that is here and now. But how can we when everyday we are faced with problems, school projects and boredom. Needless to say, this is exactly the point. It is about exerting effort to value not only things but people. Dare to love what is now.

Jeeh.

2009-11-15T04:41:00.000-08:00

not really in the mood

2009-11-13T04:04:00.000-08:00

mateo and raffy... by request

2009-10-25T04:55:00.000-07:00

hope you like it

finals

2009-10-24T04:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfGHMHrf_3g

first flash animation

juliabee.0fees.net

website

for my minion

2009-10-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

HappY birthday!

2009-09-22T02:18:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday dady nap.. Enei! hahahhaha sorry ngayon lang.. well, at least naka habol... the theme is magnanimus sorcery... tapos.. you love red.. and i love chibi.. so technically its a combination you and i have.. chars... i hope you like it.. for your 19th birthday! bata kapa rin..kahit last year mo na as a teen!!!

A Sand of Memory

2009-09-21T23:21:00.000-07:00

What's left of my memories in Dakak...

Lost and Found

2009-09-21T23:15:00.000-07:00

I was walking aimlessly when I came a beauty so unnoticed. Ever since that day, this thing and I met. We develop a friendship no one could break. But then one day, while I was waiting for it to arrive, my feet found a heart on the floor. Hours later, I waited, still it did not come. Perhaps, this is the legacy that friend of mine left for me. :)

Librarian

2009-09-19T03:48:00.000-07:00

The Ateneo de Zamboanga de University Library.

For bookworms, it is equal to the place they call heaven.

For people who are alone, this is their past time.

This is, the library before it got into my hands.

Here it is now, passed through my hands.

And this came from the grasp of Carlo Bagaporo.

September

2009-09-10T01:22:00.001-07:00

Once upon a September,

A lady received a letter

The sender of which was her lover.

Tear dropped as she read it

No words of torment can be fit

For hope was lost in every bit

Days passed like centuries

Bleeding were her injuries

He alone could cause these miseries

She was engulfed by coldness

But warmth was felt with boldness

That brought an end to this wildness

Fire that kindled her was yours

That brought her back the colours

Which cannot be unlit by any downpours

She then again begun to love

That was approved from up above

Blessed, for she too was being loved

Everyday became beautiful and true

Memories were carefully carved and drew

As she begun to live life anew

But she made a mistake

That brought both hearts such ache

parting was a must for each other's sake

She lost her essence

To a useless expense

A cry of mercy was her offense

Despite the treachery

Love gave her bravery

a plea, release her of her misery

"You are unnerving

Love I gave, you are underserving

Love it is that keeps me from leaving"

She loves you dearly

And you do too clearly

Friends you are now, merely

please?

09.09.09

11:45pm

The Defeat

2009-09-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

she walked a path

not seeing nor hearing

free in her own world of solitude

she could not careless

lead a by moonlight's trail

danced she did by the beat

created by the gush of wind

poise and glameour was seen

limit was inexistent for her

for she did what she did best

pronounced was her smile

she felt herself she was

with no hindrance to bear

she shouted her heart out

returned silence by the night

exactly what she hoped for

a light seemed to break

embraced the horizon it did

it begun to chase after her

she ran, with fear and might

blistered her feet were

but she could not stop

not when she is utmost happy

she could do nothing but flee

the wind begun to blow hard

the beat was gone

chaos took over her privacy

but she kept on running to nowhere

it caught up with her

she lost the battle

sobs were all that could be heard

for the her paradise became hell

she sat there like a child

wiping tears off her eyes

she faced and lived life anew

accept was her only choice

but deep inside her memories

forget she will not

the place that brought her joy

until the end of time

Thursday, September 10, 2009

9:43 am

logo for biik's class

2009-08-28T23:04:00.001-07:00

a request

2009-08-22T06:31:00.000-07:00

done out of boredom

2009-08-22T06:25:00.000-07:00

a hope that still fights on

2009-08-22T06:22:00.000-07:00

banners

2009-08-22T06:15:00.000-07:00

A tribute

2009-08-22T06:12:00.000-07:00

Illustrating the landscape

2009-08-05T00:55:00.001-07:00

for a friend

2009-08-04T03:11:00.000-07:00

ELEMENT: Gaia

2009-08-04T03:08:00.001-07:00

animating meself

2009-08-04T03:07:00.000-07:00

Memories Unveiled

2009-07-17T21:32:00.000-07:00

Sounds... I hear them. The propeler spinning, turbine clutching, people chattering, and the wheels of the rolling cart in friction with the rug on the floor. I hear it, finally, I have awaken from my deep slumber. I opened my eyes and saw brownish hairy things. Then a hand from above took hold of me and gave me to a woman -- in return, the woman gave her cash. It was then I realized that I was in a plane being sold.

Time elapsed and I found myself at a door step, I was still with the woman. Then other beings came. They greeted her with smiles that could reach their ears. They must be her family, I thought to myself. Suddenly, the woman grabbed me and showed me to this girl that almost popped her eyes out when she first saw me. In the same way, I fell in love with this girl. She named my "Puchoo". The woman called her Julia, perhaps that is her name. She's a little old to be playing with dolls, if you ask me. But be that as it may, she loved me like her own.

From that day on, we spend our time enjoying. She has three other bears, a green one and a santa claus. When she leaves for school, I am left with the two of them. The bears and I kept spying on the people that lived in their home, or should I say, our home. There is this dog that they called "Buchoo". This dog is weird! I need not say more. One day, she brought me to school with her. I met her friends and they all liked me. When she returns, among the bears, it would be I who would be picked and spend the night with her. I loved it when she hugs me during sleep and even though her saliva stinks, I still feel loved. At times, when she can't sleep and the night falls as the dawn breaks, she cries. I do not understand. I wanted her to know that I am here, that I care. But she just could not see me. Other than that, I enjoyed my life with her, little did I know what would happen next.

As the months passed, she began to not care. She would leave me there would not play with me anymore. The woman took hold of me and placed me on the top of a cabinet. And for months I was unnoticed. Little webs started to form on me, the dust mites where all over me. The love I had once for her turned into anger. How could she forget me?! I guess, this was the part were the two other bears were right, I'll soon depreciate and she'll forget about me.

One day she took me. I was so glad. She washed me then placed me by her bed. I thought I could regain her but no. Now, I lay on the floor lifeless and full of prejudice. But the time we spent, the memories we made last until to this day and will never be forgotten. She loved me once, and that's enough for me.

Autobiography

2009-07-17T21:18:00.000-07:00

The Autobiography
Chapter Four: Home Business

Home Business, what is this exactly? From the word itself we can expect that its all bout home. Home is usually the safest place for us. We think of it as our comfort zone but home it is not just a structure where people live, it is where the bond between family members are being developed. As I have said before, I have but an ordinary family. The problems we encounter seems to be never ending. Yes, like any other family we encounter different struggles and at times, when we give up on us being together again, a ray of light appears. And somehow we manage to stay intact as one.

And sometimes, we add an addition to the family. He breathes, falls asleep, eats, poops and perhaps even dreams. They are overly protective of us. They guard the house when we are away and welcomes us with saliva when we do come back. Pet as we call it, but a friend we treat it.A dog, a man's best friend as they say. But in our home, he is more than a man's best friend. He is part of the family. xD

Our home not only contain humans but also things. Things to help us go through life easier. A toy, usually it is something that we play with when we are bored. And sometimes, from the first time we hold it, we fell inlove with it that its hard to let go when it gets too depreciated like many things do. Want to know how I fell in love wiht my toy? On the upper right corner of this page there is a word PAGE TWO, click it to find out.

JULIA MAE BALLESTEROS

ITMM101 B

July 18, 2009

2009-07-13T00:50:00.000-07:00

July 13, 2009

I woke up this morning and I asked myself,"What shall I do with my life?". I stood up and begun to arrange my bed sheet, pillows and my blanket. Still the idea kept on flowing through my mind. I went out to let the people know I am awake. I checked the time to ensure that I am not going to be late. I was about to take a bath still, I could not take it of my mind.

Last night, I was in a conversation with my beloved. I said I wanted to go to Paris. He said, time will come and you will pursue that, determination will get you there. "Determination?", I asked "It's not going to happen." He replied," That's exactly the way of thinking that will hinder you!" I begun to explain my side. "I mean, of course I do love Paris, but I only want to go there because of the movies I've seen. But more than that, its worth nothing to me. To spend my time, effort and determination for something that would not satisfy me would be a waste." It was at this point that I questioned myself, if so, then what do I really want? I never expected that the idea would stay would me even after I slept.

So anyway, I was in the jeepney and I met a classmate. We were not very much acquainted but I knew stuff because we talked earlier on that month. He was having a hard time at school because his so called friends were condemning him. But hey? who am I to judge. He had the same situation as mine when I was in high school. School has been a terrifying place for him. I could really relate at this point on. He was absent the whole week prior this day. I told him, friends come and go, but education is something we do not take forgranted. Remember, once we fail, that would mean we would have to repeat another year. You and your friends may or may not be in good terms, but let not your education be ruined just because of this. I was actually taken a back on what I said. I usually hated school and would not mind at all when I absent myself. It was like I was teaching myself a lesson by telling him not to skip classes.

When silence took over the conversation, my mind was no where to be found. I was lost in translation. I was back on the question. I realized that what I am only looking forward to in the future is a well designed, if I can say so myself, kitchen! Pathetic as it may seem, but it is true. Three lights of color white hanging from above, a curve cement that serves as a lavatory (deep enough for the water not to splash back), chopping board (can be replaced) and an empty writting space ( where the tray will be placed or perhaps my children would occupy if I am cooking) ? tiled with color green and with cabinets below, these would be the style of my own kitchen. That's it, I have nothing more in my future. This was actually what I got from watching Travel and Living(tv show).

I finally arrived at school and I was preoccupied with school matters.

One of my friends was not talking to me. It has been quite a while. I tried doing something about it, but then I just gave up. Things like these happened often. It was not really a great shock to me that it will repeat it self. I continued on concentrating to what was the matter at hand.

Finally, the bell rang. End of classes for me and begin the celebration of my high school bestfriend's birthday. I met up with one of them, but sadly the celebration was cancelled because the celebrant was sick to death. So, I was left with my one of them. We headed for town to prepare the gifts then we ate. During the eating session, I told her about my morning thoughts. She was gesturing, "whoa!, what some very big thoughts!". I enjoyed my conversation with her. We talked about alot and I mean a lot of stuff, from the break-up with my second relationship to giving to the realizations we have from time to time.

After the talk, I could still not answer the question. As one of my colleagues said "It is a question that only time will unveil."

After everything, I ended up writing this.

for my dearest cousin

2009-07-06T04:01:00.000-07:00

childhood days

2009-07-06T03:58:00.000-07:00

2009-06-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

my own logo

2009-05-25T05:56:00.000-07:00

I finally decide to create my own logo. Use simple brush, lasso tool and move tool. That's all you need, oH! and another, PATIENCE!

Mama's Bible - Anonymous

2009-05-24T23:58:00.000-07:00

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said,"I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said,"I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said,"I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said,"You know how mamma loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't she very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was wort it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but i have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, i have my groceries delivered, so i never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me anexpensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead. I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you or the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good snese to give a little thought to your gift.

The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

A Killer Under My Own Roof

2009-05-24T01:57:00.000-07:00

File case: Murder with Injustice
Killer: Lottie "pangit" (dog)

- picture of the dog at her own home.

-the dog caught resting after the wild goose chase.

-the dog posing in our bed.

-the dog looking and waiting for probable prey.VICTIM: chirpie (maya bird)

Location of crime: Backyard
Jury's decision: GUILTY!
Statement of an eye-witness:

Do not be fooled, this seemingly friendly dog has an evil heart behind the mask. In the afternoon of May 24, 2009 at exactly 3:51 pm I witnessed a crime. I was strolling along side the fence when I caught a glimpse of my dog playing with what I thought a a butterfly. So, I let her be. Seconds after, I heard a chirp. I looked back and saw (I hope my eyes were deceiving me) the bird inside my dog's mouth! I panicked and chase her away, she left the bird tormented! As I was doing my best to let the bird live, I remembered, I knew nothing of this matter. So, I stopped and let the bird took its last breath.

leap of faith - the making

2009-05-22T21:08:00.000-07:00

An Afternoon in the Back Yard

2009-05-19T04:47:00.000-07:00

The Sarcasm

2009-05-15T00:16:00.000-07:00

“I was barefooted strolling along Side Boulevard, with my sandals on my right hand and a guitar on the other.” The night was young, the place was solemn, all were calm and serene but her insides were in turmoil. She has been keeping it all in to herself and she feels no one could understand the pressure she was in. She tried to tell them, making all sort of signs but no one could ever decipher what she was trying to explain. She turned away and walked by the shore, alone, frustrated and thinking. She sat down by the gloomy tree and placed the quarter of the guitar buried in the sand. Just minutes later she returned to the group. She has now composed herself and was about to say what she was trying to portray earlier on. Everybody was silent and listening attentively, when out of the blue an odor indescribably stinky begun to occupy their nostrils. Each one of them commented on how horrible the smell was, all but one. All of them had a puzzled look on their faces. They turned with their eyes fixed on her like an eagle preying on a food!

A Thing of the Past

2009-05-14T22:58:00.000-07:00

As the wind caresses my face and as the sun light amazes my eyes, I knew then that this day would be no different. The usual stuff happened; my smooth ride soon became polluted by noise from the horns of vehicles and chatters of people. Despite the disorder, my mind is able to wander off around my memories.

Finally, I stepped out of that vehicle and begun to enter the gates of hell. I just remembered that I have no life lines left; I have consumed every valid absence a student could have. With not a moment to lose, I fast walk my way to the busy hall way of our school. My mind is nowhere close to strolling away from reality, my heart is beating faster than usual and tension is building up inside. “I cannot afford to drop out from one my classes!” I said to myself. Then, for a jiffy and with no warning, I saw him! I turned my back in an instant, was I hallucinating? The second bell rang. I snap out of it and sat at the place I call my own, my arm chair.

I tried my best to give explanations on why on earth I thought I saw him. First, I must be delusional, the pressure is taking the best of me. Second, my desire for him is greater than I thought. Thirdly, it was really him! The mindboggling question is, was it him?

Tick tack tick tack says the clock. An hour pass eight and still I could not take my thoughts off him. After ages of waiting, the bell finally rang. I got my bag, bode goodbye to my mates and left the oh so boring professor. From a far, I could see the very tall shadow hovering the door way. Much to my surprise, it began to rain heavily. My sight was blurry, my eyes were at its all time bigness, my eyebrows were in denial and my heart was slow to beat. My things fell on the floor, and my limbs went weak. I wanted to die right there and there. It was him, he returned.

I could not but stand in awe. It is as if I saw something unnatural. I have been thinking of this day, but still that did me give me comfort. My eyes begun to leak, my hands in my mouth and my knees were trembling. I could not utter a word. Not a “hello”, much less an “I missed you”. I stood there, very much contented with the sight of him. Him, who have been appearing in my dreams; Him, whom I cannot stop loving; Him who is named Nobody.

I heard the bell rang again, consciousness awakened. I opened my eyes and I was in tears. My pillow was wet and the sun has risen. The clock was in tantrums and my mind was blown away. “t’was but a dream, a bitter sweet dream”, I said to myself.

katchookuy experiment

2009-05-14T05:17:00.000-07:00

This art is especially made for bughaw na aso! He is my motivation behind the shit! (bwahihi) The word katchookuy, hmm well i do not really what it stands for. That word just sprung unto my mind. I was plurkin gone day, and i saw "bughaw na aso" name and so i came up with katchookuy. I now have a meaning to it. BUGHAW NA ASO!

I do not know where i have gone wrong.
i gave you my all.
how could you leave me?
when you promised not to.

You made me happy.
You made me cry.
You made me laugh.
You made my life worth while.

I miss the days we were together.
The feeling of contentment,
the perfect hours,
the perfect you
and the imperfect me.

Gone were those days now,
and the feeling is subsiding.
Light brought me something.
It brought me my beloved.

A one true friend.
A one true lover,
and the reason i awake
with such blissful glee.

He makes me smile.
He makes my cheeks turn red.
But most of all,
He breathes the air I breathe.
He sees the moon as i do.
He is with me.

He listens,
he fights,
he spoils,
he loves,
he hates,
he thrills,
he is KATCHOOKUY!

The Wind and the Tree

2009-05-12T02:24:00.000-07:00

As the sun resides beneath the bleak horizon, I closed my eyes and felt the air hushing through my ears and the sand sinking into my toes.Darkness and discontent invaded my vision, pushing me to a place of questionable blur.

A bitter struggle begun beyond my wildest imagination. When I thought life has nothing more to offer, it gave me an utterly harsh slap on the face. And now I am faced with a horrible leech that disrupts my being and slowly devouring my insides.

With in a moment, everything became serene. The once hostile place soon replaced by tranquility and peace. Then I felt my body breathing again. As my lungs took air, I gave out my pains. Gently, I opened my eyes and there were fog like structures that lurked around me. Though my sight had not yet recovered its full vision, the room so dark that even a dim light appeared to be a very powerful spray of white.

At that moment on, nothing seemed more real than the flash of memories that burst into my mind. Half way through, I felt a force pushing me back, hindering my way. Doubt then existed. Troubled, my thoughts were. Decisions must be made, pressure rising and stress kicking its way in. With no where to go but the path in sight, I begun to run towards the door which is now closing. A leap of faith got me through but a heart attack it almost gave me.

I question not my fear of darkness but my fear of life without light. To what shall come of life, if thy being is black as the abyss. Could that be even called living? As my thoughts wandered upon the issue, I became aware where I was.

The air was just refreshing, and the weather was astonishingly fine. It was not as hot as summer's day, nor as gloomy as September's rain. Clouds were covering sunlight’s path, creating a map which was constantly changing. The little rays pushes its way in and gives the effect of sparkle upon embracing the life forms. It is in every sense a perfect weather.

My eyes feast upon a gigantic beauty, of which I saw every day. I saw it like the first time I laid my eyes on him and this moment was no different. I saw the light descend from the heavens, giving him pride to what he is and what shall become of him. A melody so soft that only the keen of senses could identify, came into existence. No moment later, he was swaying with her. As their arms stretched to its limits, elegance and passion rise to clarity. A tantalizing voice vibrated his paralyzed feet. He wanted to dance with her, to touch her.

Sadly, she was but impossible for him to grasp. For will power alone is not enough to pursue her. Dismayed by the decision, she loathed him. She pushes him away with brute force, but he -- being the gentle hearted that he was, bent in obedience. And just like that she was gone.

Be it night or day, he thought of her, wishing that she would come back. The thought never grew old in his ever hoping mind. But the doors were now closing, and no sign of her showed. The flame that engrossed the fire was now dying. But even at this state, the melody was still whispering his hopes alive. Even if he knew it was doomed to fail from the very beginning, he showed no fear. For an eternity was not life for without her. One night, as he watched the moon turns a glow, an idea swept his mind of his feet.

I opened my eyes and I felt the sand on my toes again. As the beach tides pushed, I took a stand and begun to walk. I am now in the hill top where the man was. A tree of gigantic beauty stood its ground. And even up to this moment, I could hear the echoes of a content man dancing with glee. Only he knows precisely how satisfaction was captured that night. May he rest in peace!

Photography: Pasonanca Park

2009-03-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

--acknowledgements--

Thank you to the model who doesn't even know she has pictures online..

T Shirt Design

2009-03-11T06:56:00.000-07:00

Front and back. My first ever photoshop

Flawed Impression

2009-03-09T07:12:00.001-07:00

complements to psd.tuts

http://psd.tutsplus.com/tutorials/tutorials-effects/mix-cool-retro-curves-into-your-photographs/

Upon the dark solitary place, lived a mourning creature. No words could express her sentiments. She quite, still and compiled. Despite the heartaches, she sees in life full colors. Nothing can change how she sees the world. For it alone makes her unique.

banner for a friend

2009-03-09T05:01:00.001-07:00

a website banner for a very dear friend of mine.

question: how was this made possible?
answer: a mixture of tutorials.

For the background - http://psd.tutsplus.com/tutorials/text-effects-tutorials/create-a-spectacular-grass-text-effect-in-photoshop/

For the typography - http://psd.tutsplus.com/tutorials/text-effects-tutorials/create-a-spectacular-grass-text-effect-in-photoshop/

And for the image -

needless to say, the grass is to short to fit in the size of the banner.
Ever heard of clone tool? well, figure it out. Its quite obvious actually.

Sinn Ling Chen - this one is for you as requested. Hoping its not too late. if i have missed out any informations, please add it even without my consent.

--acknowledgements--

psd.tuts.com
and joper for the inspiration...

the story of a girl who was captured.

2009-02-27T19:22:00.000-08:00

a friend you are to me...

2009-02-27T18:58:00.000-08:00

bLoo, A.K.A. joper the nightstalker and bluejackal...

"what do you want better? birds or butterfly?"
The story begun on February of the year 2009. i was minding my own business , plurking, chatting and those sort of stuff. Out of the blue, a yahoo message appeared(by yahoo messenger) saying "what do you want better? birds or butterfly?". I thought to my self, how weird is this, but what the heck, lets just get over this question. Well, i pretty much love butterflies but since its beauty is known and many craves for it so i'll choose birds. "Yes, birds" i replied.

Two days after that weird question I came upon a plurk message with this .jpeg file. Believe it or not, my jaw dropped! It truly is beautiful, simple, summery, and not to mention creative. But what touched my heart most is the fact that bLoo was the one who did it. With all my heart, bLoo, i thank yoU!

2008-10-05T23:53:00.000-07:00

i really liked this picture. for one thing it signifies life. a small yet ready to get to know the world plant. A dawn of a new generation. it was done with much sweat. believe me, it is not as easy as counting one two and three.

2008-09-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

this is the drawing im talking about. i made this particular drawing for someone who has the same attitude as his. I've kept it all this time, never knew it would be much of help.
imagine from imagination to paper to pc to internet! goes to show technology today makes anyhing possible. Imagining is easy, drawing is easy because i have fun doing it. editing on the other hand is quite the opposite. i do agree it fun, but then again youd have to stretch your patience and skies the limit to that. And to tell you the truth im not that "patienty" person.
after the whole process was made, i cant help but dance out of joy that finally, after centuries of hard work, its done!

2008-09-19T18:10:00.000-07:00

from scraps to picture...yes i've made a cartoon! this has been the happiest moment in my school life. it is hairsplitting, mind tangling process. but it pays to see what youve come up witj. three times, i have redone it. the tracing should be correct to be able to color it properly. believe me, you have to close each gap to have this product. or else the color wont appear. good if your doing a grayscaled picture, but this is not one of those!

mi obra maestra

2008-08-12T22:26:00.000-07:00

photomontage

2008-07-21T23:02:00.000-07:00

It trully is amazing how two pictures becomes one. But even more amazing is the fact that the lighting between the could be equalized. Imagine that... Truth be told it is the harmony of the two pictures that makes it so realistic.
The last of the images is the sunset. Yes it maybe so be beautiful and enlightening. But, the originality of it makes it a downside. We have seen a lot of sunset and this is not so very awestrucking due to the fact that we have gotten used to it.
In the second image we could see the window. Yes the window is lame, boring, dull and needs a lot of improvement.
So, to capture the eyes of the viewer, I imagined it like from my own view i'm inside the room looking at the sun setting. It is original, it makes the room bright and a head turning one. But the down side of it is the fact that the window is not able to get the whole of the sunset. Yes, sacrifices must be made.
In conclusion, the main point of joining two pictures and altering their images is to make it look like one picture. Photoshop is indeed a magic maker!

Activity three- picture sketch

2008-07-15T21:42:00.000-07:00

A picture of a tree is really worth something. It's kind of weird when you'll figure out the you can make a picture appear like a painting. Amazing?! isn't it?. I did wish I was the one who draw it. Photoshop is like a tool of MAGIC! Of course the tool needs to be practiced, believe me, its not an easy job but if you'll love every step of the way -- it becomes fun and exciting.
For this activity i have tried every possible tool and effects i could use and i came up with this. Ya, i know its not that beautiful but then again beauty is subjective. Besides the picture turned out the way i wanted it to be. Actually, its better than i imagined!

contact

2001-01-01T19:07:00.000-08:00